Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Do you believe in Karma?

A note on Karma. After my little grasshopper trick with the kids I've just been waiting for Karma to pounce on me like a hungry puma; and pounce it did. Saturday night we were at the cabin. It was twilight and I decided to take Kaylie on a 4 wheeler ride after about an hour of her insisting, "mommy take da apples to da pussies(horses)?" It is the first time this year that it's been truly chilly, it had been raining all day so there were huge puddles on the ground , and Ryan and Conner were in no mood to brave the dark and cold so we bumbled down the hill on the 4 wheeler together...alone. We came to the top of the little hill by the coral and K and I dismounted. There I walked my sweet daughter on my shoulders, an apple in each of her little hands, to give the horsies a treat. Needless to say they loved it. Kaylie laughed incessantly as they whinnied and chewed loudly. She got up the courage to pet them and after a little persuasion she even fed them out of her own hand. It was a total success for self confidence. "You go girl", I thought as I witnessed her overcome one fear after another. We watched them trot back down to the bottom of the basin and i decided that it was probably time to start heading back. As we came to the crest of the hill, there they were, my personal 4 legged hell. There a mere 15 yards ahead of us stood 8 huge blood thirsty deer. I counted 7 females and then spotted him. The gigantic 6 point buck locked eyes with me and huffed. I let out a small but distinct whimper. He wasted no time in positioning himself firmly in between Kaylie and I, and his herd. I froze. for half a second I thought of turning on my haunches, picking up Kaylie and making a run for it. Then I realized what easy...slow targets we would be on foot. "Oh shit!" I thought realizing that the 4 wheeler was still another 3 feet ahead of me. I had to move toward them before I could move away. I took a deep breath, and put Kaylie on my back so that if he charged, the razor sharp antlers would impale me, hopefully keeping my daughter alive and safe. I took the horrifying but necessary three steps to the machine. He answered with two menacingly deliberate steps to close the distance between us even more. My eyes teared up. I pushed the ignition. Nothing. I repeated the phrase "don't panic Tia...don't panic" to myself, as the buck stood there not breaking his intimidating gaze for a second. I pushed the button two more times and by the grace of God the engine roared to life. The females all startled bounced back a few yards but not the buck. He took a wide stance shoulders down, eyes still on us. I threw it into reverse and jolted back. I turned and raced toward safety. Towards Ryan. In my haste and unwillingness to avert my eyes unable to believe that we weren't being chased by the beasts, I hit more than my fair share of puddles on the way back home. By the time we reached the threshold of the cabin we were covered in thick russet clay mud, I had mascara down my cheek and on my neck from crying, both of our hair was a ratted windblown mud crusted mess and my Kaylie was in desperate need for some cocoa. Ryan took care to calm me down, even though I know that he wanted to laugh his @$$ off at the absurdity of the experience. And chances are that you too are thinking to yourself what a sniveling, shivering idiot I am, and you may just be right. But chances are that if you are reading this blog we are either family or dear friends so you have no choice but to love me regardless of how crazy I am.

I am now convinced in the ancient truth of karma. From here on out I will only be sending butterflies, daises, and metaphorical rays of sunshine into the cosmos. That is until I concoct another "too good to miss" trick.

11 comments:

Jenny in Utah said...

I am absolutely dying - I might not ever want to go to the cabin again. And you totally did not overreact ;) ... And please don't ever stop your little pranks, they bring joy to so many lives! (or at least a good laugh for some of us).

And, sorry if you hate this kind of thing, but I tagged you on my blog today, I totally want to read your responses!:)

One more thing - your comment about Chet and Thelma was so sweet. Isn't it funny how we felt so much love and we weren't even "direct" family? They were awesome!

The Hutchins said...

i do love your stories. It brought brightness to the end of my boring day! I'm glad you escape the scence unharmed!

thehaucks said...

That is absolutely HILARIOUS! I glad you both made it out alive!

linsey said...

oh my heck! I am laughing so hard-but yet I am so sad for you because I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR GREATEST FEAR! what a great mom you are! and what a BRAVE rescuer you are! I am so proud of you! You can now say, "I have faced my greatest fear!" and hopefully you will NEVER have to again! I LOVE YOU!

Brett and Chanel Giles Family said...

I'm sad we missed the adventure! You are to funny!

Katie Jo said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAH I bet Ryan did have a hard time not laughing, as I am laughing pretty hard! HAHAHA Too bad we weren't there! Someday my friend... someday the timing will be right! hehe

Todd and Ryann said...

Tia we are sisters in animal fear. Only I truly understand the treachery of this situation. That is why when we are in nature, we always have Mase and a rape whistle to chase off wild beasts. Take lessons.

D + M said...

I think it would have froze and peed my pants! Good thing you have great mother instincts :)
xoxox

Esther Hunt said...

Tia,
So call me a blog stalker as one of my friends put it. I love reading your comments because it reminds me of the good ol' days working at Gordon's. You always had the coolest imagination! You are so creative and people are drawn to you. Of course your family is ridiculously gorgeous!!! P.S. you can find me at estherhunt.blogspot.com

Spencer+Kellie said...

Tia! This is the funniest story ever!

Nana Sue said...

Ok Tia this is worth coming out of the "blog stalker closet" for!!! I felt a mix of terror and hysteria for you and Kaylie! So glad you saved the both of you AND the machine :)
I run into your mom from time to time and can't believe you girls are grown up and moms too! It was only yesterday.....anyway, come visit my blog and my kids' too! Keep up the pranks and enjoy being a mom, soon you will be like me, a Nana!! Hugs.